Westminster Gabby
by Michael Schaffer

I spent the past couple of days walking around the Westminster Kennel Club dog show in New York. I didn’t write much about dog shows in my book, because show dogs aren’t really pets per se: I think of pets as economically useless creatures kept for their own purposes; show dogs, like seeing-eye dogs or stunt dogs or military dogs, perform a service for their owners (at least in theory), which leaves them a lot less interesting in my eyes. That we suddenly started spending money on, like, hip replacements for family pets is fascinating. If you spend it on hip replacements for an animal that might recoup the money in labor or earnings or stud fees, the calculus is a lot simpler.

Which leaves me, at dog shows, a lot more interested in the ordinary fans, not the genetically micromanaged animals or the Best in Show-style contestants. The dogs may not be pets, but they’re advertisements for pet ownership, and help shape the way—it’s all about breeds!—we think of pet dogs.

People walk and gawk and squeal when their favorite breeds amble past. One person loves Corgis, another has a thing for Labs. Last year, Uno the Beagle’s victory was treated like a revolutionary moment because Beagles commonly used as pets and don’t have the frou-frou vibe of blown-out dog-show poodles. (This year, Uno has been hanging in the press office between various media engagements where his professional handling team talk about the whirlwind year. No, he really isn’t like your pet, even if you own a Beagle.)

I remain fascinated with our obsession with breeds. Across the country, and especially in this big wonderful mess of a city, the country’s polyglot nature is ever more embraced: Our restaurants are French-Ecuadoran, our supermodels Russo-Brazilian, our president Kenyan-Kansan. And yet, at the show, the legacy of 19^th-century Victorian eugenics hovers in every conversation about bloodlines and breeding and dogs’ descent from various titans of their breeds. You hear things like “this dog is permitted to be one of two colors.” Tough luck for the others. Nothing evil about it, but it’s weird.